just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
