We're facebook friends in real life
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
