she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
