That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
