You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
