she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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