Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Even my vagina gasped.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
