Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
