Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
