PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
