Your tits are I can't wait for
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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