everyone is single if you try hard enough
Small penises have feelings too.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
