Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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