She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Send help, water and tortillas.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize