The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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