We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
my liver is dry heaving
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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