tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
