I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
