And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
