Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
