It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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