I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
