What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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