And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
