Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
