now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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