I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
