Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
whose ass print is on the piano?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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