So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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