Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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