Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize