I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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