yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
