It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
