Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
