i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
