Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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