Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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