his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
