I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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