Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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