State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
