New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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