My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
