Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
