Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
