ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
