I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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