So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
