Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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