she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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