OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
