just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
