Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
