I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
