we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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