I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
